It is a joke. Read on.

Issue a PIP.

PIP = Performance Improvement Plan. You issue one to a colleague. They have two hours, per section 2(b), to forward the plan to a different colleague or accept it personally. Inaction constitutes acceptance under section 4(c). HR is not, has not been, and will not be involved.

For the record

This is a joke. Nothing real happens to anyone, including the colleague you're about to inconvenience.
No database. The PIP data lives in the URL itself. We have no record of who issued it, who received it, or what they did about it.
No accounts. No email. No analytics on the mechanic. We literally could not tell you who sent yours even if we wanted to. (We don't want to.)
Your employer is not involved. Your colleague's employer is not involved. This is just a link with a timer attached.

Back to the countdown

Plan filed. Distribute at your discretion.

Send it to a colleague.

The link below contains the entire plan. Send it to the colleague you have selected for performance improvement. They have two hours from the moment they open it. You may share this link with one and only one colleague at this time, but enforcement is, candidly, on the honor system.

File another

For your records

The plan exists only in that link. Lose the link, lose the plan. We have no copy.
Your colleague will not know you sent it unless you tell them in the message you attach.
If they forward it within two hours, you will not be notified. If they accept it, you will also not be notified. No notifications, ever, for any reason.

This is a joke. Read on.

You've been PIP'd.

A colleague has issued you a Performance Improvement Plan. Per section 2(b), you have two hours to take one of three actions: (a) forward the plan to a different colleague, (b) accept the plan personally, or (c) take no action, which the plan deems functionally equivalent to (b). HR is not, has not been, and will not be involved.

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Hours

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Minutes

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Seconds

If timer hits zero - well, see for yourself

Last reminder

Still a joke. The plan exists only in the URL you clicked. There's no database, no server log, no record of this anywhere. You don't know who sent it unless they told you in the message. They won't know what you do next unless you tell them. Your job is fine.

Confirm acceptance?

A formal acknowledgment card will be issued for your records (and your group chat). The two-week period commences immediately upon confirmation.

Plan reassigned.

The plan has been transferred to a new file. Distribution is your responsibility from here. Per section 5(a), the new recipient must be a colleague, broadly defined.

performance acknowledged

SURVIVED THE PIP.

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Time saved

1

PIPs forwarded

twoweeksimgone.com/pip

Send a fresh PIP

PIP accepted

DIDN'T MAKE IT. YOUR TWO WEEKS START NOW.

14

Days remaining

0

PIPs forwarded

twoweeksimgone.com/pip

Write my resignation letter

This PIP has lapsed.

The two-hour window passed without action. By procedure, the plan has expired. You may start a new one.

Start a fresh PIP Back to the countdown

Can't read that PIP.

The link might be broken or truncated. Try the original link, or start a fresh one.

Start a fresh PIP Back to the countdown